Posts Tagged ‘marriage counselor’

Three Ways To Have Healthy Communication In A Relationship

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

The majority of all marriage problems are related to the lack of effective communication between spouses. Although if you were to ask each spouse separately how their communication skills are they would assure you that there is no problems. Unfortunately their spouses will have something very different to say.

This is nothing to fear, however, and can be resolved fairly easily. One of the most effective ways to mange this problem is to step up some communication rules that both you and your spouse need to properly follow and at all times, when you want to convey a message to your spouse and want to make sure the message is clearly understood.

1. Have A Speaking Stick- It is often helpful to have a speaking stick in the home when you need to have a conversation with your spouse and want to be sure that you are being heard and understood, as well as making sure your partner gets their chance to speak. When you utilize a speaking stick, only the person with the stick is allowed to speak and therefore you eliminate talking at the same time and not hearing what your partner is saying and vise versa.

3. Stay On Track With Your Conversation- A lot of times while a couple attempts to communicate they begin calling down additional events from their past. They have such a history together that one matter extends to another and therefore eventually back into a controversy. Dealing exclusively with one matter at a time could genuinely assist in centering the communicating to ensure that both spouses are on the same page.

3. Think Before You Speak- Attempt to not discuss issues instantly, as an alternative have a waiting period. Generally as something first comes about everybody can be a bit more defensive as well as roused. Making a special day and time to sit down and address issues for the week, serves as a more beneficial way to discuss situations. After a brief time has elapsed you’ll in all probability be better capable to converse about the issue without converting the communicating into a fired up confrontation.

If you are experiencing marriage problems, log onto www.lightyourfire.com immediately. We will help you avoid divorce, and and remove the need for you to look up save my marriage on the internet.

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What Makes For A Successful Marriage

Monday, March 8th, 2010

When you are searching the internet for ways to strengthen your marriage, you are bond to find millions of articles on couples therapy, but very few on the things that you and your husband can do to keep your marriage strong without any outside influences. In fact having a successful marriage is just a matter of following the ABC’s.

A – ALWAYS treat each other with respect and kindness. Love is an important aspect of a marriage but without respect for each other communication breaks down and the marriage begins to crumble. Respect is the cornerstone of a good relationship and no marriage can survive without it.

B- It is simple for two people to have sex, it is done all the time. However, it is not simple to BE someones friend, and this is what you want to be for your spouse. Your spouse must be your best friend, and someone that you tell your deepest desires and secrets to. You want to be able to have a feeling of trust and security with your spouse, as this is the major component to have a long and happy marriage.

C- Always be willing to CARRY your spouse up the difficult hills of life, as well as being willing to allow your spouse to carry your at your times of need. Everyone faces a personal tragedy in their life and during those times it is important to have someone that is strong for them.

S – SACRED. Your marriage is a sacred relationship and one that needs to be in the forefront of your life. Treating it as the special and unique relationship that it is will ensure a happy life together.

Avoid marriage problems by checking out the advice on www.lightyourfire.com. It is a place where you can read advice and testimonies as well as purchase programs that are a form of in home marriage counseling.

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Finding Peace Within Your Marriage

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

So you got married and everything was perfect. Your spouse could do no wrong, everything that he or she did was cute and adorable. Then one day these cute and adorable acts aren\’t what they used to be. You begin to get slightly annoyed at them. Eventually, some time down the road, these annoyances can escalate and cause serious trouble in your marriage.

You have worked hard at your marriage, to keep you and your spouse happy and well adjusted. You will not want to ruin all that you have because of an annoyance, that at one time did not bother you at all. If you follow the tips provided below, you will be able to calming manage these annoyances before they turn into a tsunami.

1. Focus On The Positive- Why do we all to often focus only on the negative things in life? If I only had more money, if only my home was bigger, why did my car have to brake down. These are common questions people ask themselves, instead of saying at: at least I have money in the bank, there are many without homes and I should be happy I have a roof over my head, the car may have broken down but once it is fixed I still have it, not everyone can say that. The same should also be applied to your marriage. No one is perfect, so we need to stop expecting our spouse to be. Instead of getting annoyed that they came home from work late, be happy they have a job and work hard to provide for you. Don\’t yell when they spend money on something that you think is silly, instead be thankful that you had the money for the purchase and it has made your spouse happy. Instead of thinking and focusing on how your spouse has annoyed you think of all the ways your life has been better because they are a part of it.

2. Take A Breather- Sometimes it is difficult to think positively while you are heated mad. Instead of speaking right away, which will only come out as a nagging yell, take a breath. Remove yourself for the situation if you have to and take a few deep breaths. You will be surprised at how this will help you bring things into perspective.

3. Do Not Yell, SPEAK- If you find that you can not overlook something then you should sit and talk with your spouse. Do not talk of all the little petty issues just talk about what is causing you stress. Talking does not by any means refer screaming and yelling. You need to calmly state what the annoyance is and try to come up with a solution to the problem that both of you can live with.

4. Create Moments To Spend Together- Take some time in the day, or at least once a week, to spend solely with your spouse. You can leave the kids with a sitter and go out to dinner, plan a romantic getaway together and spend time looking at all the places you can visit and what you will do. Don\’t just plan the getaway make sure that you actually go on the getaway. Time for the two of you does not always have to cost money though. It can be staying at home and watching a movie while you snuggle (instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch), play a board game, or whatever activity that you both enjoy to do. Many couples even choose a show that they both like and once a week sit down to watch it together. This is a great way to schedule partner time for you and your spouse.

5. Laugh- Laughter is truly the best medicine. As long as you are not making fun of your spouse, or becoming an annoyance yourself sometimes the best thing to do is make a joke about the annoyance. If you are bothered that you are always tripping over their shoes (when you have an obvious place that all the shoes go), play a game of hot and cold with them. Hide them in a spot and make your spouse find them, by only using the hints hot and cold. You will find that instead of fighting about how you tripped over the shoes again. You will be laughing at how hard your spouse is working to find them. This is a great way to turn your angry into something fun.

Remember, living with the same person day in and day out can become very stressful. Follow these steps and you will find that although some of the annoyances may remain, they will no longer seem as large as they once did.

If you are having marriage problems and believe that you will need couples therapy in order to get you on the right track again, there is another method that is just as effective, will cost you less and can be done done in the privacy of your home. To learn about about the program, today, go to www.lightyourfire.com.

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